Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
