Please forgive me. I will pay for your emergency room visit.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize