You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
Randomize
