I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
