I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
Some girl woke me up at 1:30 am looking for weed and the next thing I know I'm in a hot tub with 3 girls, 2 40's, and a blunt.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
