I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
You tried to run away last night. The neighbors brought you back.you were in their hot tub again. This needs to stop
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