Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
