we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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