I want to stick my p in your. b.
we're chasing vodka with high fives
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
