There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
We walked in and they were fucking to Somewhere Over the Rainbow... I need a new roommate.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
Randomize
