If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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