The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
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