just got booed by the entire restaurant.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
