but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Apparently I told him he would be good for human sacrifice.
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
