no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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