Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I feel a five day drunk coming on.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize
