i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
