he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
