man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
