So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Randomize
