We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
