I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Randomize
