it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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