Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
