You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Mom said you looked used
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Look, as flattering as it is, I'm getting a little tired of being everyone's go-to girl for a threesome.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
Randomize
