just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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