the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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