Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
