someone get that fucking seahorse.
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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