I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
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