addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize