my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize