I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I think I am morally bankrupt
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Ladies don't puke and tell
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
Randomize
