operation have a gay friend backfired
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
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