he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
