ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize