It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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