i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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