That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
my being single is dangerous.
Just turned rock'em sock'em robots with my little cousin into a drinking game. Im drinking bourbon hes drinking hot chocolate.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
