dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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