I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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