people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize