I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
I don't know if it is the Everclear or chemistry, but i think my brain is coming out of my ears.
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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