oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
it's okay that you two hooked up in the family bathroom at the mall.. i just pray to god you were not making a family in the family bathroom..
Randomize
