ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Randomize
