People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
It's rum buckets o'clock
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
