Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Just remembered sticking my head out the window as i drove us to walmart and yelling that i was a golden retriever.
Also, sorry for verbally assaulting you when you asked if you could dump the bowl.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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