You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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