Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
