All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Randomize
