you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
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