My balls are so social today.
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Randomize
