So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
