she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
just woke up in a camero on the way to nebraska, i would appreciate it if you answered your phone.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Randomize
