I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
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