Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Still dying that you shit outside
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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