i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
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