took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Randomize
